My Answer Lies in the Story of My Parents…

So, what makes someone your soulmate? Is it something you just know when you meet them? Is there persistance what makes you realize that they’re serious? Can they really be your soulmate if you meet them at the wrong time or is it proof that it’s real if everything falls into place? Do we have more than one soulmate? These are the questions that sometimes I think I can answer but other times my head is left spinning with doubt and cynicism and anxiety over all the possibilities.

I was raised to believe that it’s all about timing and just because you truly love someone doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to work out.  Carmen told her story in class today about her Mom and I was shocked by the similarities in my own Mom’s story.  My Mom had a full paid tuition scholarship to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh but chose to marry my biological father instead… he has serious issues with fidelity and they got divorced when I was only six years old.  They were young and in love and Mom says she tried to force something that just wasn’t meant to be.  The timing just wasn’t right.  And yet, she doesn’t regret marrying him because if she hadn’t then she wouldn’t have had me.  Sometimes I worry that I’m poor consolation prize for not attending college.  *shrug*

But now, Mom is married to a totally awesome guy who loves her and me very much.  We’re both very blessed to have in come into our lives.  There story is an interesting look at timing.  My stepdad was married for many years and had two kids.  He is 16 years older than my Mom.  When they first met, Mom was going through her 2nd divorce and I think he was still married.  They met through work and when he left her office my Mom said “That is the most beautiful man I have ever met in my life.”  Next time they met, my stepdad was going through his divorce.  It took many months, but eventually they were both in positions to start a relationship together.  It seems they spent a huge portion of the beginning of their relationship laughing about all the times they could’ve met earlier.  Buffalo, NY isn’t a very big place especially if you grow up downtown on the West Side.  Mom and Ken (my stepdad) grew up in the same neighborhoods but 16 years apart.  When she was in high school waitressing, Ken was already married but spent many a nights in that same restaurant at bowling banquets that my Mom worked at.  He still remembers the desserts they served there, and yet, they did not actually meet.  There paths crossed so many times, but in the end, they didn’t meet until it was time.  Soulmates? I don’t know.  It sure seems that way.

I thought I’d link to a lyrics website.  It’s a song by Barbara Streisand that my folks like to randomly dance to in the kitchen.  The song really describes timing, and how it has to fall into place in order for things to come together and work out.  So check it out:  Isn’t it a Pity?