I saw “Zodiac” last night.  Now, I want to complain about it.  First of all, it’s a 2 1/2 hour movie.  That’s a long time for someone with undiagnosed ADD to sit still.  Things started hurting and cramping.  At times I found my leg shaking uncontrollably.  That disturbed my date greatly who politely asked if everything was okay.  That’s okay because she bought me a large Diet Coke (R in the circle thing).  The second distraction centered around the actual physical sound of the movie being played.  I’m sure there is a name for it but I just call it a monumental aural distraction.  I tried to focus my attention on the movie but kept coming back to the sound of the projector whirring.  In this day and age can’t the projector be made to operate silently?  So by now you can guess that I was sitting at the back of the theater.  Well, the back of theater is a haven for all kinds of activities.  First of all there was a couple sitting in front of us who really needed to get a room.  They kept snuggling and exchanging sloppy, slurpy, smacking kisses.  They prefaced every interface (pun intended) with a long, lingering “I love you look.”  These people were not young either.  They had to be on at least their 10th serious relationship.  The guy had an enormous head and he didn’t even have the decency to slouch down in his seat.  I have a big head and I always observe this unwritten rule of etiquette.  It’s just what you’re supposed to do.  Behind us was a young, not-even-college-age-yet couple.  They were involved in sharing and transmitting numerous socially prevelant viral concoctions.  The girl kept jamming her feet and knees into the back of my seat.  I let it happen twice.  Had she done it a third time I was going to say something.  However, my movie companion has a lot more manners and tact than I do and exercised her influence over me.  I felt sorry for the gentleman in the very last row.  He had a disability and was forced to sit in the back.  He must have been in Hell.  Finally, I have two more things to say.  The girl three seats down from me kept checking her cell phone every ten minutes and laughing at something.  She at least had the common decency to turn it off but why was she at the movies if she had to be so attentive to it?  This blows my mind.  The attendant walking down the aisle with a red light saber thingey didn’t bother me to much.  The most disturbing aspect of the whole movie-going experience was the scene where the Zodiac gave a ride to a young mother and her infant.  He told her “Before I kill you, I’m going to throw your baby out the window.”  I was mortified, repulsed, scared, empathetic and sick to my stomach all at the same time.  I have a four year old boy and felt an acute sense of panic during the entire tense scene.  It was awful.  I alternated between closing my eyes and sneaking a peek at the screen.  I kept waiting for the music to signal that the horrible deed had taken place.  Somehow I got through the scene without tossing the six mini-cheeseburgers and huge plate of fries I had ingested an hour earlier.  The mother and the baby lived.  For that I was most relieved.  I left the theater, drove home, went into my son’s room where he was sleeping and kissed his sweet, little face.